


sincerely,

by earthtogauva



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Broken Promises, Character Death, Letters, M/M, MCD, Mentioned Character(s), Terminal Illnesses, atsumu has an incurable illness, damn whats tagging, sakusa is a fucking coward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27383299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthtogauva/pseuds/earthtogauva
Summary: Dear Omi-kun...〘Haikyuu Angst Week Day 4: Broken Promises, Illness/Death〙
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 84
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	1. Dear Omi-kun,

**Author's Note:**

> Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva (FOP) is a disorder in which skeletal muscle and connective tissue, such as tendons and ligaments, are gradually replaced by bone (ossified). This condition leads to bone formation outside the skeleton (extra-skeletal or heterotopic bone) that restricts movement. No cure has been found, and people who suffer from this illness never survive.

**_14th May 2020_ **

Dear Omi-kun,

How have ya been? It’s been exactly 4 days since I got admitted and it’s so boring. (All I did was fall down jeez let me out already!) So ta-da! Decided to pass time in writing ya letters. I know yer missing me dearly and deeply and I’m so touched you are, don’t miss me too much now!

Hopefully this shit is over soon so I can get out and beat yer ass at volleyball! I still am not satisfied with our last match (Motoya totally cheated to impress that stoic boyfriend of his I ‘aint letting him live that down!) and I promise to best ya!

With much love and adoration from yer best setter,

‘Tsumu

**_27th May 2020_ **

Dear Omi-kun,

Samu freaking read my last letter before he mailed it what a fucking ass >:( but i hope yer doing well, ya haven’t called and I was getting kinda worried.

Me? Worried for ya? A joke I know, but I miss my favourite spiker with your crazy limbs.

‘Nyways, Samu said I hafta ‘properly’ say goodbye or sumthin, does he think I’m writin an essay? But he’ll read this shit because he’s a loser so I guess I gotta.

I’ve been duped up on meds and they taste disgusting. What shit do they put in these anyways? Swear it’s as if they want us to stay sick so we gotta keep payin’ the hospital. Capitalism.

The doctors were talkin to my ma and pa yesterday and I heard my ma crying. I hope it ‘aint anything serious. Don’t wanna worry ma, she already worries so much for me and Samu.

Ya gotta meet her one day, Omi-Omi! You’ll like her, she’s extremely fussy with cleanliness and she’s very kind. She’ll even cook for ya!

Okay the nurse is giving me a look that could battle yours so I’ll write soon, make sure ya write back dummy!

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

  
  


**_13th June 2020_ **

Omi-kun!

I didn’t get ya last reply, did ya send it to the right address? Ya never could memorize addresses could ya? I hadta’ always double text ya our date locations and call ya every 10 minutes. Ya never liked it but it was fun knowing ya had to listen to me for once.

I’ve been sleeping more, eating less of my fav’rite foods! A disaster! An absolute harm to humanity! 

Samu ate my freaking ebi!! That ma bought for me! I mean sure I wasn’t gonna eat it but he ate it without asking! A lil’ bitch really. But since I’m the eldest and the kindest I won’t get mad at him. I’m gracious like that ya’ see? 

I’m going into a scan soon and the nurses said I’d be fine but I ‘aint trusting them, they’d probably scam my parents out of my extremely cool and fit body for science or some shit and then I’d come back as a zombie! As Patient Zero! My legacy will be me being a zombie, how cool would that be?

I hope ya’ write soon, Omi-kun, or come visit because I miss hearing ya’ awful voice.

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

P.S: SAMU STOP STEALING MY SHIT WHEN YOU READ THIS

**_21st June 2020_ **

Omi-kun! 

I know it’s been like a week since my last letter but I had to tell ya’: Samu got into the culinary school he applied to! He’s so happy he came in bursting through the door and the nurses got mad at him. That was funny; he got what he deserved!

But my legs have been feeling like deader than when we practice constantly with no breaks. (Meian was cold-hearted but man I miss playing with you guys) I can’t really walk without wincing or my legs shaking. Ma got mad at me for trying to walk out of my room today without anyone but like, I’ll be fine! I didn’t like her expression, so I went back to bed.

I hope you’ll come over. I miss you.

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

**_3rd July 2020_ **

Omi-kun,

Waaa the whole Inarizaki team came over today! Rin looked ugly as hell, but I’m pretty sure he came over to see Samu. They couldn’t stop making googly eyes at each other and I almost puked. Kita-san gave me food! Yumie-obaasan cooked it specially for me (and Samu but he didn’t need it!) He seemed as kind as ever, and I swear he was fitter than the last time I saw him. Jeez, I should’ve gone into farming if I knew I’d look that good!

Aran-san kept poking at my back and joked around, and Akagi-san kept stealing my food and tried to sneak into my bed. Aran-san picked him up and told him he ‘aint a child no more. Gin and Riseki brought over some green tea but it didn’t taste as good as it used to. Maybe I’ve gotten used to the one you used to make for me. Bring that over next time okay!

Oomimi-san humoured me while I shit talked Samu again, and I won! (Pretty sure it was ‘cause I’m bed-ridden and he can’t hit me) 

Ahh I really missed everyone! I miss playing volleyball, feeling the ball in my hands as I score over and over again. Once I get out, I’m making my way back to the team! Watch me rub it in yer face Omi-kun!

I’ll write to ya’ soon! 

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

**_29th July 2020_ **

Omi-kun,

I told Samu not to read this, and I hope he doesn’t but,

Omi-kun, will you not come? I know I stamped each and every letter with your proper address but I really want to see ya.

It’s harder for me to walk now, I’m mostly stuck in bed. I had a fever the other day and I could barely open m’eyes. It’s so hard to relax now. Even as I’m writing this my legs are numb and I don’t think I can walk anymore. 

Thinking back, I hope it’s not true. I want to walk again; I want to walk beside _you_ again. I want to play with Samu for one last time.

I really hope I get better.

I miss you.

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

**_20th August 2020_ **

Omi-kun,

The team came by today! But I couldn’t really talk to them, I was dead tired. Bokkun almost crushed my spine hugging me before Tomas pulled him off. Shouyou rambled on how we won the game against the Red Falcons last week (TAKE THAT ARAN!) and how you scored only one service ace! Bet ya’ I could’ve one up you! 

Meian and Oliver brought over some fruits and Shoyou fed me some as he continued story telling with a lot of sound effects from Bokkun. Wan-san rolled his eyes a lot when they started praising him on his receives but I could tell he was happy! Oliver talked to pa a lot (old men shit I swear) and Shouyo almost knocked my saline over so that got him into trouble. They mentioned something of an interview coming up, hopefully I’m back on my feet by then! MSBY’s star setter has to be there!

Meian told me he told ya about the trip. Are ya’ busy? I really wanted t’see ya. I hope ya make a solo visit soon.

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

**_1st September 2020_ **

~~Omi-kun,~~ Sakusa

Was it something I said? Something I did? Did I hurt you? Was it because I left my toothbrush in your cup? Or that I left my worn jersey in yer laundry? Or did I not love ya enough? Am I too loud? Too brash? Too annoying?

Sakusa, what did I do? Please, I miss you. Getting up everyday is harder. I can’t open my jaw, it _hurts_. Please, come to me. I want to talk to ya for once. Tell me why yer ignoring me. I won’t write t’ya anymore.

Ya promised you’d stick by me. Please, come back.

Please.

Sincerely,

‘Tsumu

**_7th October 2020_ **

Omi-kun,

I celebrated my birthday yesterday with Samu. Well, it was more of Samu celebratin’. I can’t get out of bed. I merely watched as ma, pa and Samu sang. We both cut the cake, but my hand was shivering so much I basically let Samu cut it.

I couldn’t eat the cake, it was _way_ too sweet. Ma baked it though so I had a few bites. I got some gifts sent over from friends, even Motoya sent somethin’ over. I think he sent a card and some sweets.

Would it be too much for me to say I at least expected a card from ya? Probably, I still haven’t seen or heard from ya in like, 6 months. I guess I’m still hoping, huh? Stupid on my part.

My hands hurt more now, barely can hold a pencil up. I probably won’t write anymore, not that you mind. Might get Samu to write a letter to ya one day. 

Sincerely,

Tsumu

**_10th November 2020_ **

Dear Omi-kun,

I’m getting Samu to write this for me. He better not screw this up!

Doctors say I’m almost completely paralyzed. I can move my mouth but it hurts, it might be wired shut soon enough. I saw this coming, to be fair. When my legs started to drag during practice and when my hands shook more so when I setted. 

Finally asked them what my illness was. Fibrodys something, I think. Incurable, it’s a rare illness. Just like me to get a very rare illness, dontcha think? To be fair, I’ve always known about this, I just chose to ignore it. Pain is just a natural process, right? 

Apparently not.

I know I complained a lot about moving and acted like sludge but I want to move again. I want to be able to run and jump and yell and hold people and kiss you. I want t’hold ya, to tell ya I love you one more time. I don’t think I told ya that enough, Omi-kun. I miss the way yer eyes roll at me when I make a stupid joke. I miss the way ya scoff at my compliments but still string our hands together. I miss us Omi-kun.

I’m not mad at ya. I was at first, but I get it. Ya don’t wanna see me like this. Preserve the last perfect image of me, yknow. I get that. I don’t hate ya Omi-kun. I never could. But please, come visit. Please.

I don’t wanna die, Omi-kun, without seeing yer face one more time.

Sincerely,

Tsumu

**_21st November 2020_ **

Sakusa-kun,

This is Osamu.

Tsumu passed away last night. In his sleep, he passed away at 3.36 a.m. 

It was about time, anyways. His entire body has been on lock because of the illness starting last week. I know you didn’t want to see him, and I can’t get mad at ya because I made a promise to Tsumu. But the least ya can do is come over for his funeral. I’ll include details of his funeral below.

Yours truly,

Osamu

  
  
  



	2. Dear Atsumu,

**_31st December 2020_ **

Dear Atsumu,

I honestly don't know how to start this.

Where do I even begin?

I don’t think sorry begins to suffice what I did to you. God I’m so fucking selfish. How did you even love a prick like me? Cooped up in the tiny space I call a rational mind. Everyone disliked that. Everyone except you, I guess.

When I first heard of your crash and your admittance to the hospital, I wanted to go. Drop everything and go to you. Then Motoya told me of your illness. _Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva_. A fucking mouthful. Can’t fucking believe you’ve never once told me about this shit. We could’ve gotten _something_ done. But I don't blame you, you hard-headed bastard.

I met your mom at the funeral. You were right, she was sweet as day. Kept a smile on her face as she thanked everyone for coming. You look so much like her. She had that spark in her eyes, the same one you had whenever we played. I used to think it was annoying, but I miss it. A lot. Your mom hugged me; told me you said a lot of me to her. I didn’t know how she wasn’t mad at me for not being there. 

Osamu, however, didn’t hold back. Called me a selfish bastard. Told me I wasn’t good enough for you and I never was, never will be. I didn’t retort back. He was right, anyways. I wasn’t there for you.

I said I wanted to see you, but when I heard of your stupid fucking illness, I searched it up. Worst mistake of my fucking life. Like you said, I couldn’t bear to see you like that. All locked up and not the Atsumu I know. Not my Atsumu that I remembered.

And so I ignored your letters. I wanted to give up on you so I wouldn’t have to deal with the fucking heartbreak knowing you were slipping from my grasp. Honestly why didn’t you fucking call? I would’ve actually responded. 

I know why you didn’t call. I fucking hate you for being so sentimental but god you wouldn’t be Miya Atsumu if you weren’t sentimental huh?

Meian told me about the team visit. I wanted to go. I begged myself to go and see you, to at least hold your hand, but _fuck_ I couldn’t. I fucking froze up. I didn’t want to see you like that. So I declined. Bokuto was up my ass about it the whole week as if I didn’t feel like shit already. How the fuck do you tell someone ‘oh yeah I didn’t want to see him because I’m a fucking coward and convinced myself if I didn’t see you, you’d miraculously get better’?

Motoya got mad at me. He punched me, square in the jaw. Called me a coward, an absolute loser. Begged me to follow him to go see you. 

I didn’t, obviously.

Why am I telling you this anyways? To rid myself of the pain and regret and guilt? I deserve all of it anyways. I deserved the worst.

Maybe that’s why you left.

You never did anything wrong. I never minded when you left your toothbrush at my place. I was miffed, but I never got mad at you putting your jersey in my laundry. You never did anything to get me mad. You gave and gave and gave. I didn’t even give you any of that back.

And yet, you told me you don’t hate me.

You’re a fucking bitch, Miya. Going all sentimental on me like this, writing fucking letters and telling me you don’t hate me for what I did. You stupid fucking bastard. I hate you so, _so_ much.

How does it feel to be the first person who made me cry? Bet you’re fucking proud up there.

I wish I could take it back. Make you the green tea you liked so much, hold your hand and kiss your stupid calloused knuckles and hear you laugh again. I want to caress your face and brush my teeth beside you and teach you all about my skin care products. I want to play more games with you. I want to score and score and score until we win every fucking game we can with you beside me. I want everything back.

I want you back.

I’m keeping your letters. A bitter reminder that I wasn’t there for you despite you holding out to me, of me breaking our promise. I love you, Atsumu. I always will. Maybe I can repent for this in my next life with you.

Sincerely, and hopefully forever yours,

Omi-kun.

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me [on twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/moontogauva) or [on my cc](https://curiouscat.me/moontogauva)
> 
> hope you enjoyed!! do leave a kudo and comment <33


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